Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
