I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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