how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
