I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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