went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize