Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
