New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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