grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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