it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
