I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
