dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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