She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
