Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize