Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize