After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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