I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
