I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
