:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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