Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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