Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
