i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize