Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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