don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
