I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
