You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize