operation harelip BJ is a go
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
