You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
