South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
