Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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