Christians are straight up FREAKS
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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