i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
