so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
