I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
