Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
