Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
