I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
