Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
