I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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