There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize