whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
