Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
