don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
