we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
His hands were made for my vagina.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize