16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
