dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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