yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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