no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
