I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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