I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
