Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
