Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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