i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just had sex bonerless
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
