im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize