I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
