for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
and you fell through a lawn chair
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
