i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
