Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize