My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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