i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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