I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
