There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
