glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
