return my video game
wrigley field is MILF paradise
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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