Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
