Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize